


The Princess and the . . . .

by swan_tower (russian_blue)



Category: Fairy Tales and Related Fandoms, Princess and the Pea (Fairy Tale)
Genre: F/M, unsubtle innuendo is unsubtle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-29
Updated: 2011-12-29
Packaged: 2017-10-28 10:17:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/306833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/russian_blue/pseuds/swan_tower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rated T for juvenile innuendo. :-)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Princess and the . . . .

Sixty years on, I'm amazed at what they've done to the truth. They say I proved myself a princess by the delicacy of my skin -- a ludicrous fable of feather mattresses a hundred high, a tiny pea buried beneath, and me complaining of a lumpy bed, as if my mother never taught me manners. What princess would behave like that?

But I suppose nowadays the truth isn't genteel enough for them. There were no feather mattresses, just a bedroll on the ground (with lumps aplenty beneath it, and I complained not once -- I was glad to be free with my love). The matter in question was not the delicacy of my skin, but the resilience of my chastity. And as for what was pressing against my back and disturbing my sleep . . . .

Larger than a pea -- oh, it most _certainly_ was.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in _Flash Me Magazine_ , April 2005. Since I now have it up for free on my [website](http://www.swantower.com/index.html), though, I figured I might as well post it here.


End file.
